hotel room ftw
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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