What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Im part way to drunk.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
