I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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