i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize