we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
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