I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
