she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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