anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I believe in your delicious
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
