She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
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