I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
