Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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