Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
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