So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
