why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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