I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Can I color on your dick again?
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize