i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Randomize
