They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
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