i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
