He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
