I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
