he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I just want to make out with him forever
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
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