I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Randomize
