Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
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