I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize