we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
