I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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