Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
