i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
