Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
We left an ass print on the piano.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
