oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
