I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Even my vagina gasped.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize