So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
i think i just lost a toe
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