Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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