**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
