After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
