how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
