So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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