That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
