you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
