i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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