I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
