apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Randomize