this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
