drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
