There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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