I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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