I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I supernannyed him into submission
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
