I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
