Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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