Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
