I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
