What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
