So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
whose ass print is on the piano?
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
