So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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