The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
