No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
